The dirty little secret of ghosting and half-assed feedback

tldr people suck

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The dirty little secret of ghosting and half-assed job seeker feedback:

👉Every recruiter you know has been verbally abused - countless times - by people who couldn’t handle raw feedback.

Feedback that should help job seekers improve on their next interview. Which everyone needs.

Before I step in sh*t with both feet: this is not a “recruiters good / job seekers bad” piece. In fact that false dichotomy is another example our descent into pointless tribalism.

But we need to acknowledge two parts of the human condition:

1. People can react poorly to things they don’t want to hear when they’re overwhelmed with stress.

When you’re struggling to pay the bills and someone tells you no, you might say things you shouldn’t. I’ve known kind people morph into “yell at the waiter” types in the wrong circumstances.

2. Once you’ve been lit up by a total stranger you were trying to help, it’s not something you want to experience again.

And that’s why feedback can go from being direct and constructive to minimal and unhelpful.

The fix? 

I don’t know if there is one. Not on a macro level. Cognitive dissonance, emotional responses and conflict avoidance are hard-wired into our DNA.

But if you set your expectations lower, it isn’t a hopeless situation. 

👉Show kindness to someone who gives you bad news.

👉Have courage in delivering feedback, knowing it may not be well-received.

And if you can’t, maybe consider a different line of work. This ain’t ever changing.

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